Like We Used To
by garnetcitrine
Summary: Edward Cullen is trying to get over breaking up with his one and only true love. Does Bella feel the same or has she moved on to someone new? Based on the song "Like We Used To" by Rocket to the Moon. HEA Canon pairings. M for language and other things...


**A/N: Just a little something I came up with when I was supposed to be doing some math homework. :D hehe. **

**Anyhoo, it's an E/B fanfic based on the song "Like We Used To" by Rocket to the Moon. **

**I suggest you youtube the video because it's very good. **

**Enjoy. **

**And comment if you want, you guys are always awesome about that. **

**Thank you for reading. **

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**L****ike We Used To **

_I could feel her breath as she's sleeping next to me  
Sharing pillows and cold feet  
She can feel my heart; fell asleep to its beat  
Under blankets and warm sheets  
If only I could be in that bed again  
If only it were me instead of him_

"_Mmm." She groaned softly, snuggling back into the sheets._

_I chuckled, kissing her soft lips, eliciting a soft huff of satisfaction. _

"_Wake up, sleeping beauty." I nibbled her ear lobe lightly, rejoicing in the sound of her breathy giggles. _

_She let out a tiny squeak as I rolled her on top of my chest, wrapping my arms around her tiny frame. In return she wrapped her soft arms around my neck, nuzzling her face into my shoulder. _

_She gave the bare skin there a lazy kiss. "Morning, Romeo." _

_I barely realized I'd been smiling the entire time before I realized it was because of her. Just her being made my life worthwhile; made all the time I'd spent making sure I was worthy of her love worth it. _

_I planted a kiss on her forehead, tucking her into my neck as she mewled softly, stretching. _

"_I love you." She whispered into the skin there. _

"_I love you too." I answered automatically, my brain registering the words as just about the truest thing I'd ever said._

I awoke with a start, my entire body drenched in sweat.

I groaned and rolled over, looking at the time on my digital clock with absolute hatred. 5 o' fucking clock in the morning.

Santa's elves didn't even get up this God damn early on a Saturday.

I buried my face into my pillow and let out a loud growl of revulsion. Of course I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep.

The most recent of my many dreams featuring my angel had left me restless and distracted. I tossed and turned but couldn't find any relief from the pain.

Two months ago my life ended in every important sense of the word.

"_Maybe it's best if we saw other people…"_

"_Other people…"_

"Other mother fucking _people_." I scoffed. As if I could even see anyone but _her._

"Why the fuck are you muttering to yourself you faggo?"

I just about jumped three feet in the air from the voice of my older brother, Emmett.

"Jesus Christ, you walking alp!" I yelled in frustration. "Ever heard of _knocking_?"

"Ever heard of locking your door?"

I gave him a death glare but otherwise let it drop; there was no sense in arguing with my slightly bigger and stronger knucklehead brother. It always ended with him on top of me, a pillow smashed in my face and him screaming at me to call 'uncle.'

Like I said, he's a douche.

"Besides, it doesn't matter. Wasn't like you were whacking the magic beaver or anything. You were just…being freaky with your ghost whispering shit."

I groaned loudly and stood up. Despite him being a senior in high school and my being only a junior, it was clear who got all the mature genes in our family.

Speaking of my family…

"I'm ready to set up an intervention." Alice chirped, and I jumped again.

"Mother fuck, Alice!" I rubbed my hands over my eyes in frustration. I _really _didn't feel like doing this now. Especially not with my younger sister and big oaf of a brother.

"Watch your language." Emmett murmured, "There are ladies present." He gestured grandly to Emmett while I imagined a huge piano falling on his head like it happened in Saturday morning cartoons. Preferably _my_ piano…while I was playing it. Now _that_ might actually have brought a smile to my face.

Alice scoffed loudly. "Like that's ever stopped you before, tardy slip."

Emmett mocked her in a girly voice. "_Me me me me me me me me me._ You women and your mouths. Do you ever just shut up?"

Alice got on her tiptoes and poked him in the chest. "I will take you _down_, fucker."

"GUYS!" I seethed, stalking over to them and pushing on then with all my might.

I was actually surprised when I managed to get Emmett out into the hallway slowly followed by Alice. I slammed the door in their faces and slid down the back of it, ignoring their bickering outside.

I put my hands over my ears and tried to block out the world.

The urge to use was almost overwhelming now; the pain so acute I could almost taste the blood that was leaking from every pore.

But I didn't.

I just sat on the floor like a pussy; pulling my hair and trying to hold in the tears that were threatening to spill.

Because the love of my life; my soul mate…

She didn't want me.

No. She wanted _him._

_

* * *

_

_Does he watch your favorite movies?  
Does he hold you when you cry?  
Does he let you tell him all your favorite parts  
When you've seen it a million times?  
Does he sing to all your music  
While you dance to purple rain?  
Does he do all these things  
Like I used to?_

"_What are you doing?" I asked, chuckling. _

_I was surprised to find her waiting in my room when I got home from football practice, the stereo turned up to medium as she danced in the middle of my floor. _

_Not that I was averse to it. At all. _

_She was magnificent. _

"_What does it look like, silly?" She giggled, swaying her hips to the beat of the song. _

"_Well, it looks like you're having a seizure." I teased, coming up behind her as she scoffed loudly and laughed, wrapping her arms around my neck and reaching up to kiss me sweetly. _

"_C'mon, dance with me." She pulled on my arm, her eyes excited. _

"_No way. I'm tired." I had no intention to rest, though. I just simply like to see her flustered. _

"_Come _on_!" She begged, grabbing my hips and pulling me into her. I welcomed her like a warm embrace; like she could take all my troubles away. _

_And she could. _

_So I swayed my hips along with hers, singing the Queen song softly to her, pulling her close as we rocked softly to the beat. _

"_Bella?" _

"_Yes, Edward?" _

"_Don't ever leave me, okay?" _

_I kissed her forehead, lacing our fingers. "I couldn't even if I tried, love." _

"_Would you miss me if I was gone?" _

"_I'd miss you if we'd never even met." _

_

* * *

_

_14 months and 7 days ago,  
Oh I know you know how we felt about that night  
Just your skin against the window  
Oh we took it slow and we both know  
It shoulda been me inside that car  
It should have been me instead of him in the dark_

"_Are you sure?"I panted into her open lips. It was sort of stupid, considering the situation, that I'd ask this question now. _

_I mean, we were already kind of lying down in the backseat of my Volvo, naked, in the middle of a desert meadow in the middle of the woods. _

"Sure_" passed quite a while ago. _

_She looked at me as though she'd been thinking the exact same thing, connecting our lips once more. _

_I thought I'd die of the heat rush I got when our bodies connected. _

_I thought I'd perish in the raging inferno that blew through my veins as we found a rhythm; our own perfect dance in the dark of the night. As old as time, as raging and passionate as the sea._

"_I love you. Forever." She panted, the sweet sweat we'd created making her body glisten in the moonlight. _

"_Every single day of forever." I said just as heatedly, right before we found our releases, our screams barely muffled by shoulders and bare skin even though we were miles away from anyone else. _

_It was our secret connection; something that couldn't be broken by time or even distance. _

_It would be there. Forever. _

_

* * *

_

I hated my brother with every ounce of my being.

Alright, so I was being a little dramatic.

I knew I shouldn't take it out on him_ or_ Alice for that matter, they were just trying to help. But the only time I wanted to talk to them was when they'd lost _their_ soul mate. Only when Alice knew what it was like to feel the loss of Jasper would I be able to sit down and talk to her. Only when Emmett knew how it felt to lose Rosalie, the yin to his yang, would I sit on the porch with him sipping a cold one and talking about our misfortunes.

And that wasn't happening anytime soon.

But nonetheless I found myself hounded into going to a party; just about the last fucking thing I wanted to be doing on a Saturday.

God, I was pathetic. Teenage guys were supposed to live for this party all night, getting piss drunk thing.

If I wasn't there I'd probably have been home with a box of Kleenex clutching one of her shirts so tightly between my fingers they'd be numb.

Healthy? No.

Necessary? Quite.

I brought the bottle to my lips and winced at the stoic taste; it had been a while since I'd downed a beer and it was just a little tough getting it down the first time.

Soon, though, the sour taste didn't affect me and I was able to begin taking large gulps, the liquid getting sweeter and sweeter.

However, I found myself stone cold sober.

It was really quite depressing how even though I'd gotten through two beers I could still feel nothing. No warm, fuzzy side-effect to this alcohol-induced beverage.

Only when I heard Emmett murmur a soft "fuck" that I let myself take in my surroundings.

Rosalie was sitting on Emmett's lap in the bed of the rusty Chevy, both of them looking in the same direction with…pity?

Then it hit me like a brick wall and even though every single cell in my body told me _not_ to look; to just not fucking do this to myself, I found my head turning to take in the scene just a few yards from where I was sitting on the tailgate.

He had his arm around her shoulders and she was leaning into him, her brown hair down and curled loosely at the ends. She was it a sweater and jeans; nothing fancy. Never anything fancy.

It took just a few moments for me to register that she probably should have been wearing something heavier than just a sweater, considering it was October and we weren't exactly in the middle of an Indian summer.

But the douche that was hanging off her was too drunk to even notice she was probably freezing, the beer in his hands sloshing, just missing her each time by a few tips.

I thought it would hurt worse when I saw them together.

I thought my heart would burst open and my eyes would sting.

What I felt was much worse. I felt absolutely numb looking at her with him.

And that scared me.

It wasn't that I didn't care; I would never stop caring.

But I couldn't find it in myself to bring up the feelings I'd been experiencing so strongly over the past few months.

I had simply worn myself out.

There wasn't anything in me to feel anything anymore.

We'd always had this uncanny connection to each other; this sixth sense that we could feel each other the second we walked into a room.

That hadn't changed.

And the second our eyes met, the second warm, chocolate brown met cool, piercing lime, I felt a shock.

And by the stricken look on her face she'd felt it too.

I looked at her in wonder as the emotions flowed freely throughout my body, how I'd gone from absolutely numb to mind-blowingly full in a few moments. The emotions came back as quickly as they'd gone. Only these weren't as…unpleasant as the others.

My heart stung along with my eyes, but my mind remained clear.

We stared at each other for a long moment before I hopped off the tailgate and walked off, ignoring Emmett and Rosalie and their inquiring protests.

I sat down on the nearest rock I could find, looking out over the La Push beach and seeing how the water reflected the setting sun, its many oranges and hues of red making the water sparkle.

"Hey."

I didn't even turn around.

I knew she'd follow.

"Hello." I murmured as she sat down beside me.

We sat in comfortable silence for a few beats.

"It's beautiful." She murmured after a few moments, leaning back on her elbows.

I turned to look at her, the orange reflected on her face just like it had been on the water. She was breathtaking anytime, but like this, her natural beauty was simply stunning. There was no other person who had ever looked as beautiful as her. And she didn't even have to try.

"Yes, you are." I found myself breathing as I leaned my face closer to hers.

I couldn't help it.

She turned to look at me, her curious expression slowly going from puzzled to understanding…then longing.

And I knew she wanted this just as much as I did.

_Will he love you like I loved you?  
Will he tell you everyday?  
Will he make you feel like your invincible  
With every word he'll say?  
Can you promise me that this was right?  
Don't throw it all away  
Can you do all these things?  
Will you do all these things?  
Like we used to_

I felt no regret as we connected our lips, the only audible sounds the ones of the waves crashing into the cliff face below us.

And when she pulled my face to hers more strongly, turning our kiss into something a little more than chaste, I knew she didn't regret it either.

I pulled back first, emotion cracking my voice.

"Why?" I whispered, my voice cutting through the air like glass.

"I don't want to live without you. I don't want a life without you in it, Edward."

"Bella." I whispered, broken.

"Let me get this out." She toyed with the collar of my shirt. "I was curious what it would feel like to live in a world where I didn't need you. I was so scared of the feelings you were creating inside me. I was so scared to feel them. I was raised to believe that true love never lasts. That it was all just one big illusion that would eventually break you in the end. I was a coward, Edward, and I will never forgive myself for putting us through this. I tried so, so hard to get over you. I dated him simply because I wanted to feel again…" I wiped a few stray tears off her cheeks, ignoring the ones that were running down mine. "But I found I couldn't feel anything. I can't feel anything when I'm not with you." She sobbed.

I took her into my arms and held her to my chest, wrapping her in my embrace and whispering words of endearment into her hair.

I waited for her sobs to turn into hiccups before I cupped her face in my hands, the overwhelming joy I felt in that moment making the hurt I'd felt before dissolve to absolutely nothing of importance.

She was here and she wanted me.

There was no other thing in the world but that truth.

"Will you ever be able to forgive me?" She whispered brokenly. "I really hope that you can because I honestly don't know how I'd live without you."

The only answer I gave her was a connecting of our lips, a final kiss to seal a deal we'd already made to each other a while ago.

"I love you. Only you." She whispered.

"As I love you."

And I once again took her into my arms and we sat and watched the sun go down below the trees.

It was a few hours later that we finally made our way back to the party, facing the surprised and shocked faces of our friends with our fingers entwined.

As for the boyfriend, he was angry, but nothing was keeping us apart now.

Not the forces of the ocean, not the ticking of time, not even acts of love.

And we faced the unknown together.

Just like we used to.

And just like we always would.


End file.
